No matter that when I read chats/blogs from people, I expect none other than perfection. Another anality of mine, which I gratuitously violate(d), is grammar. The denizens of the interwebs have got their tubes connected to their rears when it comes to grammar and spelling; stool samples are easily collected: ‘rediculous’, ‘there’ instead of ‘their’, ‘should of’, ‘could of’ and incorrect use of the semi-colon.

GOD! Grammar isn’t rocket surgery*! That’s how we get stupid expressions that don’t make any sense anymore! The old expressions are pardoned because they help gave birth to hotforwords.

This is a long-winded post to mention the awesomely rad Computer Science Unplugged,  about computer science and how it has little to do with computers**.

* Thanks DHH for this new (to me, and stupid) internet meme probably automagically rendered a gazillion times more popular after startupschool. DHH is actually a very nice guy, no ill feeling.

** Notice how real sciences don’t have “science” affixed? Thanks, Richard for the observation the other day.

The OS rant and where the Goatsees come from

Before I talk about Ubuntu on a later post, I have to let this rant out. I think I’m becoming like my mother; whenever a word is attributed a wrong meaning or when it is mis-enunciated I feel the bizarre urge to correct the mistakes (not that there’s anything wrong with that! thanks mom). What I can’t stand here, in this context, is when people talk about an ‘OS’ or operating system. This has been bothering me for a few years and I now have the chance to express myself to the world, so to speak. Today, you my dear reader will have to endure my accumulated frustrations. =)

What people commonly refer to as an operating system is actually a package comprising of a graphical user interface and a bunch of utility programs. The actual operating system is actually a small portion of the package and according to wikipedia:

“An operating system (OS) is a software program that manages the hardware and software resources of a computer. The OS performs basic tasks, such as controlling and allocating memory, prioritizing the processing of instructions, controlling input and output devices, facilitating networking, and managing files.”

Anybody who’s taken an operating systems course knows that. Nevertheless, I guess the marketers at Microsoft and Apple thought calling their package an OS is easier on the people buying them. Even GNU gave in and calls itself the ‘GNU operating system’. (GNU is used in virtually all common linux distributions even if they attempt to dissociate themselves from what is generally considered ‘Linux’).

Hell, someone could have named Mac OS X as ‘Mac Env X’ or even ‘Mac Sys X’ instead. Indeed, OS does sound cooler. But let me tell you, I’d put my hand on fire that even if you call it ‘the Mac Goatse.cX‘, all the cool kids 3 generations from now will think that’s the hottest word ever. So, for the purpose of this article, let’s rename all OSses (as per the Microsoft definition) Goatsees (as per the poor guy’s ass).

The Goatse monologues

Now that we’re covered with the always long introduction, we can get started with the protagonists, Linux, XP and X:

1. Linux is the kid that could. He’s not in the ‘cool crowd’ but he tries hard. He’s the hardworking kind; he does all the really important stuff and generally does it well, but he’s not popular with the ladies (or men, depending on his sexual orientation). To put it blunty, he is sometimes plain ugly. He’s been recently found trying to get rid of his acne (with big servings of Compiz & XGL). But to really succeed, he’ll need to fix his broken social skills: he only talks to geeks. Regular Joe’s don’t understand him.
2. XP Win is the token rotten politician (i still believe politicians are not all rotten; i.e. some are stupid). She is a girl that appears to be charming and cute, but in reality, has got a very rotten core. Promiscuous, she allows anybody to touch her most private parts. Her doctor, Dr Microsoft (and father) regularly administers vaccines for her STD’s. She tries to look all important and she’s a popular girl (mostly because she is easy to use) but in reality, the most serious jobs are done by Linux and his cousin Unix. A copycat by trade, her family has always seemed to mimic what people in the Mc Os family do as far as her attire is concerned. She’s actually a good person and tries hard, but don’t be surprised if she cheats on you.
3. X Mc Os is the youngest sister of the Mc Os family. Irish in origin, she’s a beauty… and she’s smart! She went to the same university as Linux, and needless to say all the geeks like her! Although she recently asked her friends to call her with fierce cat names (Jaguar, Panther, Tiger, etc), she’s really a cutie and should be called ‘Hello Kitty‘ instead as she seems to like cocoa a lot, and her room is painted in aqua. She is generally considered very hip, and she’s adored by the art students(lookie, phil’s picture is on this page!) all over the place. She is trying to get to do more important things, but she’ll have to go over Linux’s and XP’s dead bodies. Although she might appear to have all the good qualities, at her heart she is a gold digger, and will not hesitate to use her charms for you to remain tied to her forever (and we, like candy to a kid, adore her sexy curves =) ). All in all, she’s an amazing person and is soaring in popularity, but she does not have Linux’s good and generous heart.

I can’t believe I wrote something like this. ZOMG, I am such a geek.
I shall end this post on a high note: Three dead trolls in a baggie, at the tune of Every OS sucks.